Self Confidence vs Self Esteem: Understanding The Building Blocks of Power

July 24, 2018

Don't allow your own belief in what you are worthy of be dictated by others. Center your self worth (i.e. self esteem - or in other words, your relationship with yourself) in the pursuit of your commitments. Self Confidence must be used or it will be lost. Flex it, use it, strengthen it. The building bocks discussed in this podcast  are incredible tools and fundamental to understanding how to develop and strengthen your self confidence. The real secret is to be constantly engaged in the pursuit of your clear commitments. This and other important building blocks of Self Confidence and it's close cousin Self Esteem are unfolded in this episode.

Self Confidence is trusting your own abilities, capacities, and judgments – a belief that you can successfully face day to day challenges and demands (psychology dictionary online).

Self Esteem is your belief about your own self worth. It is your relationship with your self. Your value through your own eyes. It can be made up of self respect, or the belief that we are deserving of happiness, love, and success (Nathaniel Branden).

Self confidence is not arrogance. Arrogance is an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/arrogance).

Thank you for your comments, your shares, and your questions. We LOVE our listeners. Have an epic day.

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Forgiveness VS Resentment - Powerfully Liberate Yourself from the Resentment You Might Not Even Know You’re Holding Onto!

July 18, 2018

Our intention is to help you achieve epic performance in your life and your relationships.  Today's podcast on forgiveness discusses a principle that if ignored will have a negative impact on your possibilities.  

 
Why do we need to forgive?  To live free, to live liberated, to maximize your performance and your influence.  Not forgiving is like running a race carrying burdensome weight.  It slows you down and limits your performance.  Forgiveness of yourself is absolutely paramount.
 
Forgiving requires deep humility, the humility seen in Level 5 Leaders (see Good to Great by Jim Collins).  Forgiving is a manifestation of the growth mindset, believing that people can grow, improve and change.  If you find it challenging to forgive coworkers, employees, a boss, or family members, it may be an indication of having a fixed mindset.  
 
Failure is our most efficient teacher.  Forgive yourself over and over again.  We don't penalize children learning to walk or ride a bike for falling and failing.  Similar applications can be made as we deal with our own shortcomings and the weaknesses of others.  
 
Honoring the Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz) with yourself will facilitate forgiving others:
1.  Be impeccable with your word.  
2.  Don't take anything personally.
3.  Don't make assumptions.
4.  Do your very best
 
These four agreements will free YOU from unjust judgments you've made about yourself and others.  
 
So how do we start?  If you want to change a relationship, you must first change your context or paradigm.  You must remove the glasses that you see that person through.  Every individual we have a relationship has a unique lens we see them through, created on our past experiences we've had with them, and/or the lens others have shared with us based on their experiences or the lenses others have shared with them.  Forgiving others requires us to remove these lenses and see people with fresh eyes.  This is best done by making the attempt to see the world through their eyes, without judgment.  Seemingly impossible, the effort, the attempt is what creates the new context and the possibility to change the relationship.  
 
Be free.  Liberate yourself.  Forgive!
 
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More on INTEGRITY: How Integrity is a Principle of Magnetic Power and Living both Powerfully & Liberated

July 11, 2018

The world thinks Integrity is "doing the right thing when no one is looking." Everyone typically makes the mistake of thinking integrity is a moral and ethical issue. While it can very well be an ethical issue, Integrity is much better understood by Harvard Professor Michael Jensen: “Integrity is a matter of a person’s word – nothing more and nothing less.”

A person’s word can mean so much. It can be something you understand as implied behavior in a given context. Of course it is doing what you say you will do. It is also doing what is expected of you even if not explicitly communicated. Integrity is all about workability. If you operate and live with a high level of integrity then you are powerful. You have a magnetic power where you are counted on and relied upon and what you say really goes. And what you stand for really is important. People and business are drawn to integrity because it is workable.

In this podcast we discuss real life examples people and businesses who are IN integrity and those who are OUT. You are always in or out. There is no grey area with integrity. When you live and operate with a high level of integrity you will feel free from the chains of a life lacking integrity. For example, there is no such thing as a time management problem – only an integrity problem. Be careful and intentional as to what you give your word to and then honor your word. You will then find that you don’t have time management problems any more. You have the same 24 hours in a day that every uber successful titan of business ever had.

Live and operate with integrity. Feel the difference. Feel the liberation and the power of life with integrity.

Link to Michael Jensen's incredible and groundbreaking article on integrity: http://affectepic.com/live-and-operate-with-integrity-feel-the-difference-feel-the-liberation-and-the-power-of-life-with-integrity/

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Accountability - A Tool To Leverage Power Not a Weapon to Justify Poor Performance

July 3, 2018

Accountability requires extraordinary humility and courage. Accountability - or put in a better way, a character trait where people can count on your abilities. Accountability creates power and influence. It allows you to live free and unafraid. We explore the real life examples of how all of us fall short somewhere in accountability. We discuss some principles from the book Extreme Ownership.

Increasing your self worth through Integrity will increase your willingness to seek feedback. You can get to a space where you want more and more feedback and are not threatened by it.

Ask yourself:

1) When is accountability hard to swallow for you?

2) Where ar eyou underperforming in your life?

3) What excuses are you making for your lack of performance?

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You’re Lying to Yourself - the Sneaky Entitlement Mindset

June 27, 2018

An entitlement mentality is a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course (Adopted from Conservapedia).

An entitlement mindset can be seen in attitudes such as: A lack of appreciation of sacrifices for others, a lack of personal responsibility, an inability to accept that actions carry consequences, and this goes on an on.

The difficult reality is that we all have some areas of our life where an entitlement mindset has been established. You are limiting your potential when you view the world through this lens. Any time you catch yourself feeling or thinking anything that starts off with: "I deserve..." you are feeling entitled. Don't go and justify why you feel you deserve _______. Be awake to the fact you feel this way and do the work necessary to not be entitled. The more powerful way of being, or in other words the better way of living is to not concede your life to the decisions of others. For example, if you feel you deserve a raise and you don't get one then you may feel resentment towards your boss and coworkers. How does this help? A better way is to recognize you don't deserve any thing and instead create the circumstances on your own to get that raise, that promotion, that faster car or bigger house, etc. The world is your oyster. Go create your pearl.

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The World Has “Habits” Completely Wrong - How Even Your Good Habits are Making You Mediocre - Discover a Better Way.

June 19, 2018

Scientists have confirmed that habits form and operate from an entirely separate part of the brain responsible for memory. You can literally make unconscious choices without having to remember your decision making process. In other words you can be unengaged, not present, subconsciously doing whatever you are doing. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE.

For example, how many times have you exited the freeway at the wrong exit because of habit? Learn how even good habits are limiting your potential.

What do you do when acting out of habit? You are simply surrendering control to what is comfortable. Never be comfortable. That’s right, we are telling you that you should want to be uncomfortable. You should always retain choice and choose something uncomfortable that requires you to be present and fully engaged. This is how you start reaching for the stars. If you are acting out of habit and already reaching the stars then wake up and start reaching for other galaxies. Be present and consciously choose what you will be doing, thinking, and how you will behave in every situation. This is the power of intentionality.

Even Good Habits are killing you right now. They are stunting your growth.

Notes from this podcast located on our blog: http://affectepic.com/the-world-has-habits-completely-wrong-how-even-your-good-habits-are-making-you-mediocre-discover-a-better-way/

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Experience the “Growth Mindset” Like Never Before!

June 13, 2018

What is a growth mindset? How do I know if I have a fixed or growth mindset? How do I create a growth mindset in my culuture at work, home, etc.? How do I help my children have a growth mindset? How do I create a marriage that thrives and grows over time? “Becoming is better than being.” Fixed mindset doesn’t permit you the opportunity to become—you must already “be”.

People with a fixed mindset are afraid of challenge and minimize effort and work. With a fixed mindset you worry more about what other people think of you. You are constantly being judged. They are always out to prove themselves worthy, and are overly sensitive to being wrong, to not looking good, making mistakes and failing. You are looking for validation. And sadly you are blind to it. You would never see yourself as a “non-learner”. But the fear of not being good enough, not being smart enough, has blinded you to the fact that you are not growing, not becoming.

Ben Dodge and Erik Huso jump head first into a discussion about the Growth Mindset and utilize concepts from best selling author Carol Dweck in her book, Mindset, by Carol Dweck. Some raw and authentic moments from each as they reflect on some early childhood experiences that have shaped their views and how different their childhoods were.

“People have more capacity for lifelong learning and brain development than they ever thought.” (5)

Growth mindset doesn’t mean that anyone can be anything, that I could be as great as Mozart, Einstein or Michael Jordan. It does mean that my true potential is far beyond the limits I have placed on myself, and that it is both unknown and unknowable all that I could accomplish if I continue on a pathway of growth, with perseverance, effort, commitment and grit. (7) Was it Mozart’s natural born talent or practicing until his hands became crippled? Was it Jordan’s athleticism, or his drive to improve daily, manifested in being the first one to practice and the last one to leave? (63) Ben Dodge completely and respectfully disagrees with the above - anyone can absolutely be as great or better than these examples. It is a simple formula: given a enough time and determination you will be the absolute best at whatever you set out to do. If you die before reaching the desired outcome then you died a happy person, but the formula remains true; give me enough time and I'll apply enough determination to be the best in what ever sphere I choose. Talent is created not inherited at birth. Neither genetics nor circumstances you are born into are more important than determination and time. This is what a growth mindset really looks like. This is how it feels to live without limits. Embrace it and stop making excuses for yourself based on your genetics or family circumstances.

“The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” (6)

Check outmore here; Notes for this podcast with book references are here: http://affectepic.com/exploring-the-growth-mindset-podcast-notes/

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Your Culture Determines Your Growth. Own it, Lead it, Create it.

June 5, 2018

What is a culture and why is it so important? Building culture starts with two questions: 1. What are we committed to? What do we value? You are creating a culture whether you know it or not. As the leader of your own life you can own any culture you belong to, and can influence it regardless of title or position.

“Leaders often do not fully recognize the extent to which “who they are” affects virtually every aspect of their organization….If a leader has unimpeachable integrity, a standard is set that others feel drawn to follow. If a leader treats people with respect—associates, subordinates, customers, suppliers, shareholders—that tends to translate into company culture.” (254) –Nathaniel Brandon, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.

When hiring new employees- scare people with sincerity. Tell them outright at the end of the interview that being humble, hungry and smart are requirements for the job. If a candidate didn’t fit the description, they’d be miserable working there. (idea credit to Patrick Lencioni).

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Determination is that ‘Moxie’ that Results in Unflinching Action.

May 30, 2018

Happiness isn’t sitting and staring at a wall. That’s what boring bored people do, and most HATE being bored. People are happiest when they are appropriately challenged, trying to achieve goals and objectives that are hard, but attainable. People blossom when challenged.

Determination is something you possess; it is the fire in your belly. It is more than just a state of mind. Itis something you can feel. You can even feel it from others when you observe them demonstrating it! Determination is the substance that allows you the power to stay committed. Determination is the vehicle through which you can demonstrate that you’re committed. Determination is that moxie, that umph in your thinking that results in unflinching action. It is an absolute resoluteness or a firmness of purpose. What is your purpose? At work? Home? Etc.

Understanding and being in alignment with your purpose can foster the growth of your determination. The more authentic your commitments the easier it is to find and develop your determination.

Determination by itself is not enough, nor is commitment. You need both. You need to be clear on your commitments and then apply the firmness of purpose (i.e. determination) to them. This is how winning is done. This is how massive action takes place. This is how you happen to life instead of life happening to you.

Learn more at www.affectepic.com.

 

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Intention: The Power to Do What You Want, Be What you Want, and Accomplish What You Want!

May 22, 2018

“At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you.”—von Goethe. Every movement is intentional and creates an intended result. Are you running up life's escalator or are you standing still? Intention is the difference between accomplishing everything you desire or simply living a life of regret. There is no middle ground. Wake up. Live with intention. Be intentional. Your desires are not your intentions. Intention requires action. Your commitments clarify and illuminate your desires - are they in alignment? When you are clear on your commitments you can allow your desires to give birth to clear intentions. This is living powerfully!

Intention is whatever you say it is when you wake up. You have to create it fresh every day. And the good thing about that is that you are the author. No one “finds” their purpose. That would be boring. Create your purpose. –Steve Chandler

The Japanese word for purpose is Ikigai, and embodies the idea of having a clear intention, meaning “a reason for being; a reason to get up in the morning.” Imagine if every teacher, every day asked, “Is what I am doing in the classroom today powerful or non-powerful as it relates to my intention?”

Magnifying glass. When I’m not focused on my attention, I’m like the sun, shining on everything and everyone. I shine on everyone, but at the end of the day, there is no fire. When I have a clear intention on who I am committed to serving, then you create fire. –Steve Chandler

Numbers and goals don’t drive people. People with a purpose drive people who achieve numbers and goals. Motivation is driven from within. It is driven by intention and purpose, not extrinsic rewards like numbers, rewards and goals. Goals can provide a short term temporary burst of motivation, but aren’t sustainable over time without commitment. Without commitment or intention, you either quit, or go through the motions.—Jeff Gordon

Listen in and take some action when Ben and Erik invite you to make some small and simple changes to your way of being. Intention is the key to every great success.

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